August 4 2007

I went shopping yesterday and met with my friend Betty Sue.... What a great time we both had. Had a wonderful morning, afternoon and evening out yesterday enfemme, my semi-weekly adventure. And didn’t really have an agenda yesterday except I wanted to wear my new outfit I had bought last week while working in Santa Barbra. Discovered this cute Jaclyn Smith brownish (with a faint paisley pattern) Moleskin faux wrap long skirt and matching jacket, orange knit top, black heels, black pantyhose with roses embossed in them at K-Mart…. Plus jewelry also..

Nothing special happened yesterday with one exception my friend Betty convinced me to have lunch with her at the Cheese Factory other than that it was a luscious day out. First Betty and I went to the Dress Barn in Rancho Cugamonga . What a great shop! They cater to us girls and make us feel VERY welcome. The staff that work there are absolute dolls and will even allow you to utilize the dressing room to try on any of the outfits, if you are having problems making a choice. It was an unhurried and most delectable time for the both of us... Betty and I must have tried on at least l5 outfits where I finally purchased two Capri Set's, a day dress and two short outfits. Betty and I then went to Torrid Fashions... It carried Plus Sizes. The sales clerk, actually fawned all over Betty and Me and wanting to chat and chat and chat and she offered her opinion on what she thought would look nice on the both of us.....helping me find something to fit. This store had a marvelous selection of plus sizes starting at 14 and a great selection of styles I found a few dresses that I will be purchasing later this month from that store... . Again, the staff were wonderful and kept telling me how great I looked when I tried on some of the dresses and what I wore yesterday while shopping in their store... I can say this about the staff MOST were complimentary and actually very encouraging. All in all a wonderful afternoon in heels!.. Ended up purchasing two pairs of jeans, one pair of Capri's, two slinky and clinging type of blouses and a pair of sketch sandals from Torrid Fashions..... Girls those sandals are the most comfortable sandals to wear, a little pricey but well worth the price....

While out yesterday with my friend Betty both of us strolled Victoria Gardens a huge outdoor shopping mall set up to look like a small town. Although I didn't feel or look my best and I far from have a feminine walk, no one bothered us and as nervous as I was it felt just great. It was truly an extremely and exhilarating experience yesterday and my being able to walk around Victoria Gardens as Trisha with my friend Betty Sue where she took me to lunch at the Cheese Factory certainly made for a wonderful afternoon... My first time ever going and eating at the Cheese Factory as Trisha.... Have to say this about that place.... They treated us Great! Very nice place, good food with reasonable prices. Another place I can recommend as being trans gender friendly....

On the way home yesterday evening, I decided to stop at this small club located in VictorVille, it's a gay orientated mixed club that is Trans gender friendly, stopping in for a drink since they have a nice little bar and the bartender is really cute. There was nobody at the bar at all the bartender commented and asked me if someone was going to meet with me. I said "NO", just heading home and thought I would stop here and see if anything was going on.... We chatted for a while as I finished my drink and still nobody came into the bar. I still had a long drive home and finished my one drink... For a Friday evening I was the only one in the bar... I guessed that was a sign so I decided, I'd just go home... I felt somewhat tired from shopping and spending the day with Betty... Drove home and immediately changed into the Olga black nightie I bought earlier in the week while I was in Santa Barbra.. Turned on the TV and it didn't take me long to fall fast asleep... Last night I had this dream that I was meeting with a friend who lived in Oklahoma... A G who finally obtained her nursing degree and she wanted me to move in with her and become her live in soul/mate.... Waking up this morning with both of my dogs in bed with me laying along side of me... I woke with a smile on my face and felt this wonderful warm feeling through out me.....feeling totally refreshed.... Maybe this dream was telling me that there is a Woman out there waiting to meet someone like me.. SMILING, is there???

Nothing special happening to day except I had to go out to get some things at K-Mart and decided that I had to go in drab. Only problem was I didn't want to take off the nail polish so I just left it on. No problem at the store because it has a self checkout. The customer service person must have seen my nails because she smiled at me and said something about nails as I left and exited K-Mart.... I Returned back home and spent the remainder of the morning out enfemmen and getting some exercise....rode my bike 15 miles... I'd exercise more if I could dress this way all the time riding my bike...!!! Wearing my light blue three piece exercises sweat suit...

Lately I’ve really started feeling and seeing the changes occurring to my body and loving every minute of my new life as I spend more and more time as Trisha! My body is coming along nicely, showing some real changes in certain spots.... It's such a wonderful feeling when my hand touches my breast's how my nipples seem to enlarge and respond to the touch.. I'm finding myself fondling my breasts alot now... When I stand straight, my body seems to have a more curvy look to it, especially when I'm standing sideways... Maybe its just my imagination, however as I stood there this morning in front my full length mirror, I could actually see changes beginning to occur... Have kept in touch with my counselor via the telephone and e-mail... Been having pretty good phone sessions with my therapist lately, just love the time when I'm able to chat with her. She's made an appointment for me to see her in September... Most of this summer I haven't seen her, just chatted on the phone or e-mails... She really clears the head, and clears up my questioning of some of my old problems when ever I have chatted with her or when I have read her responses to my e-mails... A lot of my doubts can be traced back to the Dysphoria.

Looks like information on being Transgendered is becoming more mainstream news... I see so many programs on television that show us in a good light and that we are just like everyone else trying to live our lives in a peaceful existence...

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/18618970/site/newsweek/

Most of the way they used to portrayed us in the movies and on TV is just silly, (yes there are a small percentage that act that way, but that is their choice too) most of us are just like everyone else.

Do you know what a tTg Girl is?

It means I Am a woman from within, and I think and act as a woman does, so, to complete my life, I transition with female hormones, and a full array of feminine clothing, make up, and everything else that a genetically born female would have in her life.... Those of us who are Transgendered Non-Op Transsexuals are Women from within... Of course many of us have had to live a duel existence's most of our lives which has made it difficult for many of us to finish or complete the long journey to Womanhood...

Looking and acting as a real woman has taken me years and years to perfect, not an easy road taken when I had to live a duel life...

Are there any Large Sized Women in the Southern California area interested developing a friendship/relationship Me... A Woman or another Pre-0p like myself that would help me perfect my makeup skills, hair styling skills, mannerisms to where they would become more natural looking and not like I'm forcing them out... One who would enjoy going on outings, such as dinning out, going to clubs, going dancing, site seeing, enjoys museums, art galleries, wine tasting, cultural events, wine tasting, ect...... Maybe even become intimate... Yes although not functional as a male, I still have those thriving inner needs where I want to be touched, held tightly and closely, love having my breast's fondled, having and producing kisses that become so hot, both of us melt in one another arms... Is that possible... Can it become a reality.. Or Am I just a dreamer and have the reality that I'll probably end up living alone the remainder of my life..

I Am looking for a serious long term relationship, with either a supportive and loving large sized woman, or, a supportive, and loving Tg girl like I Am...who lives in the Southern California area.... I Am fully prepared to meet someone new, and go from there, after all, I don't want to transition all by myself, so, doing it together is better than doing it all alone..

My sincere wish is to meet a large sized Woman, or a T-girl who like myself is a Non-0p transsexual, that will accept me into being Trisha Marie, full time and would assist and help me in going all the way too, especially since I wish live full time and that includes my using hormones and having an Orchidectomy too...

Here's an article I just read the other day and thought you all might be interested reading.... Enjoy I certainly did....